Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The best and the worst




Worst CDs I've ever bought:

S.O.A.P – Ladidi Ladida: another to add to single collection. This was a bad choice because I got caught out in class singing the lyrics ‘baby you can touch my .... and I can get a taste of your....”

I didn’t know what it meant ... but I was 9 years old and went to a private catholic school so it didn’t go down too well.

50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin': Don't really like listening to a rapper spouting derogatory linesabout women (although I do like a little giggedy gangsta sometimes).

Friends of the Lord:
I also don’t think we should be preaching this stuff. I brought it was accident and it was CRAAAAPPP. Jesus this and Mary that – I’m all for God and his peeps but just not in my CD player (clearly the catholic education wore off ).

Snoop Dogg – The Last Meal: He scares me and I got nightmares from this.

Best CDs I've ever bought:



Spice Girls - Spice: it taught me the morals of friendship from a young age – “If you wanna be my lover ... you gotta get with my friends ...making love forever but friendship never ends.”


Aqua – Doctor Jones:
this was the first CD I ever brought - I got it from Cash Converters when I was about nine. I got hours of dancing enjoyment from Doctor Jones, and the bonus songs on the single, including Barbie Girl.


Green Day – Time of Your Life:
my brother swiped this off me the day I bought it. He played it constantly until my Dad went in and snapped it in half. This is one of the best cds I've bought because I was fighting with my bro that day and it made him cry.


Lisa Mitchell – Wonder:
my most recent album purchase, it inspired me to play guitar.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Greenfest

Hello there! I've got my latest bit of presenting work on this here blog, it’s a segment on Greenfest, a three day event held at the Botanical Gardens in Brisbane. (It should be the first clip on my video bar, or you can find it on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkMGx7hv53c). It was a great event, hippies everywhere – just like having a bit of Byron Bay in Brisbane. Like the other segments on my blog, this segment was aired on 360, a Brisbane based current affairs talk show on Queensland Community Television,. Enjoy! (And let me know what you think, I live for feedback!) Jemma :)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Green Revolution

Try this equation:

Breakfast = cereal + fruit + toast. (Give or take some)

Am I right?

Yes, sounds about right....and for the people feeling really exotic, you could also include something with traces of egg or meat substances.

Hmmmmm.

Jemma’s Breakfast = smoothie.

Still quite normal given the circumstances.

However, smoothie includes banana, apple, berries, a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon, with the secret ingredient... Bok Choy.



No joke. I have bok choy in my smoothie every morning.

It makes for an awesome, energizing and sometimes fluorescent glow-in-the-dark like drink.

My lovely housemate Lauren got me onto the green smoothies, she was persuaded to the ‘green side’ while living in Japan where they’re apparently all the rage.

Our two other cereal eating housemates were a bit perplexed with the whole Kermit the Frog wanna be thing. Aaron once asked, “Hey Jem, why does Lauren put lettuce in her breakfast?” And my other house mate Erin, who’s hilariously cynical, refers to them as baby puke, or my personal favourite ‘baby poo and spinach.’

I’ll admit there have been some awkward moments with the green smoothies. Just this morning I was grabbing a handful of silver beat and somehow a bit of basil weaselled its way into the blender.

My poor taste buds never stood a chance.

I’m going to stick to bok choy I think, you can never go wrong with bok choy for breakfast. Raw. In a smoothie. With no other Asian food in sight. Hmmm even I’m turning myself off.

I also once poured a hefty amount of Garam Masala (a spice made up from mostly pepper and fennel) into my smoothie by accident, I scooped most of it out but when I tried to overpower it with cinnamon, the faint tang of pepper was still a little more bite than I was after at 7 in the morning.

The smoothies are something you have to try before you judge, I’ve already got some friends onto them, the baby puke comments didn’t turn them off.

So what are you waiting for?! (An invitation to my house for breakfast I guess).

Green vegetables are the beginning of the green revolution.


So, here’s a conclusive equation for you:

Jemma OR (insert name here) + Bok Choy = a fun filled day.



And if you think my green smoothie story is weird then listen up. If you’ve read my last blog you’ll understand my mum is an entertaining character to say the least. I recently found out she named her basil plants after my brother and I. Yes, I tell no lie, while at home for the weekend, enjoying a lovely salad she says, in a very blasé tone, “Oh and Jemma and Simon are in the salad tonight. Do you like them?!”

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Mother

For those who know me, you understand that sometimes, I can be a bit vague, sometimes, yes, I do silly things. Usually it’s just passed off as my Byron Bay/Mullumbimby trait, something that never got out of my system despite three years of living in the civilisation that is Brisbane, complete with a letter box, sealed road and neighbours who live next door and not in the next paddock 5 k’s away.

Well – I’ve got another reason for the weirdness. My mother.


My mother called me up a few days ago.

“Oh Jemma I was just talking to you,” she says.

Hmmm that’s a strange comment seeing as I haven’t spoken to her for about a week.
“Sorry Mum what was that?” I questioned.

“Oh Jemma I was just talking to you,” she says again.

I begin to giggle.... “Mum what are you talking about?”

Now I’ll interject here – a bit of background to my Mum, she’s an old time hippie, not overtly one anymore because she’s a bit older but in her hey day she was highhh up there. Living in India for a year, she was going to become a monk, she met my Dad in a communal house where everyone practised meditation, she got married in a blue and purple stripy dress, my parents used to take my brother and I to these weird camps where they worshipped a guru type man called Gurumaharaji.



Back to the story – after I asked her how she was talking to me, she answers “Oh Jemma I’m sitting on the veranda, looking at the mountains and the ocean and sending you all these thoughts and good vibes and connecting with you on another level.”

WHAT THE HELL??

And that’s not the end......

“Jemmy Jew, you’ve got to remember that you’re not this physical being, you’re not the person who goes to uni or goes work, you’re this inner being, this soul.”

And more..... “You’re not really Jemma Somervail ....”

To which I replied, while trying to contain the giggles “Well that’s a bit annoying
Mum, I’ve been introducing myself as Jemma Somervail for the last 20 years!”

She went on a little more about love, peace and the light, told me she loved me and said goodbye.

Leaving me, sitting totally bamboozled but highly amused.

Now I’m used to the whole...you’re not the physical body, it’s more than that, I’ve heard that from her my whole life. But I was not prepared for her to tell me about her new skill of telepathy!!!!

And on top of that, she usually says the weird stuff in the middle of a conversation, she always balances it out with, how’s uni going? How’s work? But she didn’t even care, she even ended the conversation with G.G.G.G.G - a saying she often uses which stands for God, Good, Guards, Guides and Governs you.

But if you’ve met my mother, she’s a lovely, warm and caring person, with so, so much love.

So....haha....now you know a little more about my day to day life...are we still friends??

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Jugger anyone?




Picture this......

Lying on the grass at New Farm Park...chatting with friends...listening to the birds chirping... watching some kids kicking a soccer ball...letting the aroma from someone else’s bbq tease your taste buds.

Talk about a relaxing Sunday afternoon. My two friends and I thought so until.....
We were casually walking through the park, soaking up some sun as we went, BUT our relaxed atmosphere was interrupted by ten people hitting each other with bats, balls on chains and giant hammers.

It sounds like we walked from New Farm to the Bronx, but I’m serious, there were people hitting each other with a decent amount of force – even kids about eight years old were running around with mini bats and swords.

It made the Le Crosse game that was happening in the next field look like a massive pansy sport – which a lot of people would say it is anyway I guess.

Alarmed by this ‘sport,’ my friends and I decided to investigate.

As we approached, a woman wielding a metre long padded, duck taped sword greeted us.
Totally amazed at what we were looking at, the questions poured out in a rather awkward and probably rude way – ‘What are you doing?” “Is this a sport?” “Are you hitting each other on purpose?”

She was extremely accommodating – not offended by unguarded ramblings.

“We’re playing Jugger,” she said, as her other ‘team mates’ welcomed us to have a go as they passed my friend Josh a trident looking weapon, which towered above him.

She explained that ‘Jugger’ originated in Germany and was a sport where five ‘warriors’ compete against each other for the ‘prize,’ which is actually a dog’s skull.

But the game was very organised down at the park. There was even a board which explained what jugger was, ‘for annoying people like us who asked what the hell they were doing,’ Josh explained. From reading the board we discovered ‘jugging’ actually originated in Germany and was inspired from the movie The Salute of the Jugger – have you ever heard of this? I hadn't either.

The sport is massive though...there’s an international Jugger tournament and major teams in nearly 10 countries around the world. They’ve got a website and everything: www.jugger.org.au

She was just explaining the sport is safe and they encourage people to play even if they’re never played. On the flyer she gave me, it actually says, “All of our weapons are padded foam, but the excitement is real.”

My friend Steph – who always says the most appropriate things – responded to her reassurance of safety with, “Yeah well I think if I saw old mate with the beard running after me with a giant hammer, I’d run drop everything and run the other direction.’

And judging by this picture....I think she makes a valid point.


So if you’re bored in two Sundays from now (their next meeting), let me know and I’ll get my sword and ball ‘n chain and we can play some Jugger.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Bhutan.....


The only place in the world Britney Spears might not be recognised.
Where am I talking about?

Is there even such a magical land?

Where Perez Hilton could be a brand name and the word ‘gossip’ has yet to be translated?

Well there was such a place.

Bhutan is an idyllic Buddhist country, tucked high up in the Himalayas near Nepal and India. This breath taking country features amazing rocky cliffs, magnificent Buddhist temples and some of the most interesting political policies in the world.

But the most shocking part – especially for all you Foxtel IQ’ers and Twitters (which I must admit I’m guilty of now as well) – is that they didn’t get television and the internet till 1999.

Think back 10 years ago – I can never remember a time where we didn’t have TV, my parents can hardly remember a time when there was no TV. So what would it be like if you were bombarded by TV and the internet now? Having never had it?

Pretty shocking I reckon. Comparable to the feeling you get when putting about ten Listerine strips in your mouth at once. Actually no, probably worse.

Now spare a thought for the Bhutanese. Many of them had never seen white skin before. Travel into the country was previously only done by mule and tourists paid around US$200 per day to stay there. This was a policy to discourage foreigners, in order to maintain the country’s pure Buddhist essence.

But the King of Bhutan thought - stuff all that pure thinking and he flooded his country with The Simpsons, Paris Hilton and inevitably, the vicious consumerist western lifestyle. (But it was probably going to happen someday...Mr Microsoft made sure that no one could get away from his ‘globalisation’ anyway.)

Like it or not the developed countries seem to be quite narrow minded in their thinking i.e. this global sense of interconnection has been great for us so it will be great for everyone else. But you’ve got to stop and think – Bhutan doesn’t even have proper roads, it’s guided by the philosophy of GNH (Gross National Happiness – yeah I know flowers and rainbows anyone?) instead of GDP like every one nation.

So the western world hit Bhutan like Lily Allen’s drunken punch to a photographer – in a rather messy and disorganised way. Pre 1999 there were fields of marijuana growing rampant in Bhutan and it was treated like a weed (and no not in the way we call it a ‘weed.’) But when the Bhutanese started watching crappy American movies like “How High” – they discovered there were plenty of other uses for this ‘weed.’

Teenagers girls started wishing they had whiter skin – I totally wish we could do some sort of swapsies, the amount of money we waste on spray tans and solariums. And they wanted to wear jeans instead of their traditional ghos. There had never been any cases of violence and men started beating their wives, one man even murdered his wife and his defence was “because I could.” The Bhutanese people didn’t know how to deal with this outbreak, although the country had seen fighting in its past, it was basically peaceful. People started to get unhappy and unsettled with their lives, there was a massive sense of unrest, something which the country hadn’t seen in its 200 years of existence.

The country has developed more regimented systems – they now act as constitutional monarchy like the UK for example, as opposed to an absolute monarchy – where the King/Queen have most of the power. They have a democratic system and their first elections were in 2007. They also have a judicial court of law and an army.

I think why I find it so fascinating though is because this is somewhere which hadn’t been fully infiltrated by Western culture and because of this, when western culture was introduced you can see it’s infectious effect and how damaging it can be.

But I don’t want to have a rant about the western lifestyle, because I live in it, I’m a part of it - hey I’m creating it and fuelling it by writing this blog and rambling out Lilly, Paris and Britney.

I guess the comforting thought is that we know we can go somewhere that’s a bit secluded from our go, go, go lifestyle.

This website is an Australia couple who live in Bhutan and do tours of the country http://oursecretbhutan.com.au

I think it’d be so interesting to go there – but you never know, the teenage girls might try and steal our ‘white body paint.’



This is probably the clostest I got to Bhutanese monks - Thai monks!

I Love Lamp - Literally



Seriously though, I love this photo.

Summer Heights High

Here's a little ditty I wrote for one of my subjects last year...I found it and remembered it was one of the stories I'd written and actually LIKED! So I thought it was high time I brought it out of the wood work. Have a read....

“That’s soooooo Gay”
“I’d rather be a paedophile than a lesbian,” the Year 11 student exclaims, twirling her straightened brown hair between her fingers as her fellow brat pack members nod at each other in agreement, patting their queen bee on the back.

It’s a normal school day. The bell has just rung and kids are dodging each other as they scurry off to class, lacing up scuffed black shoes and straightening ties. A new couple, who just announced they are ‘going out,’ attempt to fulfil their dare of pashing for exactly one minute before their homeroom teachers escort them to class. Ja’mie and the ‘hottest girls in Year 11’ are discussing their latest plan- to ban lesbians from their school formal- and Jonah and the Year 8 ‘Poly crew’ have spent the morning inscribing the words ‘all Year 7’s are homos’ on their rival’s lockers.

If you haven’t already guessed, that was an episode rundown of ‘Summer Heights High,’ the mockumentary-style comedy which, after great success in Oz, was played in the U.K and U.S comedy channels for 2008. It’s not surprising these markets jumped on the ‘Summer Heights’ bandwagon, says Danielle Bargh, as she peers over her psychology text book to catch a glimpse of Ja’mie telling her friends that the visual impact of her bringing a lesbian to the formal will be way better than their friend who’s going with ‘the wheel chair guy.’

“Watching the show is like being presented with a banquet of politically incorrect statements, each of them as hilariously offensive as the next,” Danielle says.
Through Ja’mie, Jonah and the ego-driven drama teacher Mr G, Chris Lilley, the show’s writer, director and actor, told The Age he aims to “reflect society’s prejudice and the language which teens use.”

And, yes, the one series show does mirror adolescent and contemporary culture.

Twenty-two-year-old Steph Lovell says, “Everyone knows these people from school, like Ja’ime and her group, they were the girls at my school- that was me at school!”
Even in the coffee shop at QUT’s seemingly respectable Kelvin Grove campus, you can expect to hear phrases such as ‘Asian’s can’t drive,’ ‘stop being a retard,’ ‘you’re such a poof,’ and ‘yo, nigga’ – all said with the same amount of thought and consideration one would employ when asking for a cappuccino. But what really stands out is the relentless use of colloquialisms and derogatory language associated with homosexuality.

‘That’s so gay,’ is one of the many throw away statements which adolescents have created as a way of removing themselves from the traditions of their family in order to become part of a peer group and establish a clear sense of identity, says Dr Michael Bambling, a lecturer at QUT’s school of psychology.

“Most adolescents adopt the culture of their peers. They have their own language and nothing thrills them more than to be seen as controversial, so they choose words which are different compared to those used in traditional society,” he says.
Curled up on the couch, 20-year-old Josh Bourne explains that even though he is gay, he does not find the word ‘gay’ or ‘homo’ offensive at all.

“I use these words all the time; they are part of my vernacular,” he says.
As a dedicated ‘Summer Heights High’ fan, Josh breaks out in a machine gun burst of laughter when reminded of the scene where Jonah, the mischievous Tongan schoolboy, gets in trouble for drawing male anatomy, on a younger boy’s school bag after calling him ‘gay’ and a ‘wranga.’

Colloquialisms such as ‘gay,’ like most words in the English language, have been reinscribed a number of times, and the ever-changing meanings of the word are layered on top of one another, says Dr Catherine Doherty, a lecturer in Social Linguistics at QUT.

“My father says, ‘gay used to be such a nice word, a happy word, you used to be able to say gay and be happy about it.’ My generation used gay as a positive affirmation of homosexuality. My children’s generation have reinscribed it to mean ‘not cool’,” she says.

Gay doesn’t mean what it used to, Josh agrees. “It’s not really offensive anymore because words are constantly changing their meaning; this has to do with the fluidity of language.”

But how much can one say before over stepping the illusive line?

Firstly, it’s important to understand the context of the show, says Marc Ruppenstein, a med student from Canada who is now studying in Brisbane and recently became acquainted with the quirky Australian vernacular through the ‘Summer Heights High’ DVD’s.

“The show is funny because it’s making fun of the people who are ignorant and stupid enough to actually take the racist and politically incorrect statements seriously. It also pokes fun at the people who say racist things in the first place and believe they’re true,” he says.

In this sense, the show is an ethnographic study, says Dr Doherty, because it examines the roles, values and identities portrayed in schools and the different type of language kids are using.

“The show is like a tongue-in-cheek social comment - it makes us laugh but it also makes us cringe,” Dr Doherty laughs and retreats to the back of her chair, looking like she’s just sucked on a lemon.

‘Summer Heights’ is purely a comedy skit, to serve the purpose of entertaining humour-hungry minds, but if you do take offence to it, Josh says, “You’ve got to realise that to a lot of people it is just a comedy, a light-hearted laugh.”
Jodie Mc Lachlan also interprets homosexual colloquialisms with this blasé attitude as although Jodie is a lesbian herself she exclaims, “I love lesbian jokes, I think they’re hilarious.”

Twiddling her drum stick between her fingers Jodie explains how it doesn’t bother her and her girlfriend when they get called ‘dykes,’ yet when people use the words in a hostile manner and say something like ‘f---ing dyke,’ that’s when she will get fired up.

The controversial quotes and situations depicted in ‘Summer Heights High’ are accepted because they are presented in a satirical sense, Jodie says. But it’s important not to take these quotes out of a comedic spectrum, or into a group which doesn’t share the same understanding of colloquial language.

Similarly, Josh says that everyday speech, such as that depicted on the show, only becomes offensive when it is used out of context, when people use the lines to take a stab at homosexuals, for example.

“Basically, it’s when people say ‘he’s a poof, they’re poof’s’ and actually mean what they say or are trying to incite some sort of reaction but then cover it by saying, ‘oh but Jonah says it.’ They think this qualifies what they have just said and makes it ok or something,” Josh says.

Dr Doherty says that when people take the language and identity of their group into another context, it can cause problems because the language may not be appropriate for that context.

“In order for individuals to comprehend what is offensive and what isn’t, it all boils down to understanding what language is acceptable in certain situations,” she says.

So next time you’re having tea with your Grandma and someone irritates you, instead of exclaiming ‘they’re so gay,’ think of something more appropriate for the social situation. You could always just do like Jonah does and vent your frustration with a ‘puck you,’ but make sure you follow his teachings and clarify that it’s with a ‘p’.